Kata basis

Katabasis:

Etymology

From Greek, κατάβασις (katábasis) < verb καταβαίνω < κατά (downwards) + βαίνω (go)

Noun

1. A journey downwards: a journey downhill, a decrease of winds, a military retreat, a trip to the underworld; a trip from the interior of a country to the coast.

In the sense used here, a trip to the underworld. Although I would enjoy a trip to the coast.

Plot line: relatively sudden loss of a partnership of more than 5 years, the dissolution of which has also resulted in loss of a fathering role, a home, a major source of financial support, a couple of cats. 

Background: more than a year, maybe two years, of persistent depressive disorder that rendered me increasingly unavailable. A set of agreements that were not observed in spirit by either party. A lack of communication as alienation settled in like a slow, thick heavy snow storm. No attempt by either party to wake up to what was eroding and turn toward each other intentionally and with the goal of renewal of connection, except for occasional somewhat vague attempts, especially for the few months prior to the breakup. My variously unprocessed traumas from past relationships, life situations and break ups. Probably more. 

Pluto conjunct natal Moon in Capricorn at the lower midheaven in the 4th house. Says an astrologer friend of mine. 

Certainly seems right, although of course mysteriously so as usual. A few excerpts from the very articulate Cafe Astrology website: 

Whatever part of our lives and of our psyches that Pluto touches, especially by hard transit, is an area that Pluto compels us to explore more deeply. Superficiality is not acceptable for Pluto. Pluto transits insist that we get in touch with our core purpose and our deep sense of power. New levels of intimacy, not only with others but also with ourselves, are discovered and uncovered.

Fear, sometimes intense fear, can reveal itself at the beginning of a challenging Pluto transit. We confront our “dark” side-- those parts of us that are raw, primal, and instinctive. Resisting this process can cause us to externalize or project these parts of ourselves. If we do this, Pluto’s energy has to go somewhere, so we end up meeting Pluto in our lives in the guise of events and people. If we are attracting jealous, manipulative, and controlling people or situations, we can ask ourselves why this is happening. Is there something in ourselves that is provoking this kind of behavior or circumstance?

More about the above as the story gets told. Or not. I'm not sure how much of the past will end up here. 

High-resolution MVIC image of Pluto in enhanced color to bring out differences in surface composition

Possible influences and experiences with transiting Pluto:

·         Emotionally and sexually rewarding relationships, intimacy.

·         Psychological healing.

·         Relationship problems, separation, manipulative behavior, jealousy and possessiveness.

·         Resistance to change and holding onto negative attachments.

·         Self-destructive behavior, obsessions.

·         Looking for truth and meaning.

·         Beginning new, intense relationships.

·         Psychological insight, intolerance for superficiality.

·         Soul-to-soul connections with partners.

·         Fateful encounters, timely new relationships and/or separations.

·         Discovering one’s power.

·         Unloading burdens and obligations.

·         Increased focus, strength, and commitment.

·         Death and rebirth cycles.

·         Complex involvements.

·         Coming face to face with our deepest fears, and overcoming them.

·         Habits that spring from deeply ingrained fears are brought to the fore, and Pluto challenges you to face them, as well as to examine your deepest attachments–to people, things, conditions, and attitudes. It’s very hard to listen to reason during this period of your life–even your own! You may find yourself acting clingy, jealous, possessive, and suspicious. Emotions that you may have never been in touch with, particularly of a darker, obsessive, or primal quality, come bursting forth. There is always some level of paranoia associated with hard Pluto transits, and the things you are paranoid about generally are the very fears that you are called upon to face. With the Moon involved, these fears have to do with significant women in your life, personal habits, emotional patterns, and the home and domestic life. Your attachments to these things may be challenged now.

*There is an activation of your subconscious energies now that can result in a number of possible consequences. You certainly will encounter many events and situations that bring old, buried memories to the surface. A great deal of nostalgia, love, and perhaps anger or jealousy, are activated now.

So, according to my astrologer friend, this will unfold over the next year and started around the beginning of February. Definitely the right start date. I'll not go into my skepticism regarding astrology or any of the other oracular arts, because why bother when the description of the event on an astrological level so exactly matches what is occurring? 

The current manifestation of the descent is the most intense heartbreak I've ever felt. And there have been a few other traumatic break ups for sure. But this fits that description of primal releasing, total requirement to let go of all of it, sudden and unexpected dissolution of what appeared delusionally to be a very strong, even invincible, bond as well as an unshakable life. My emotional state is complicated by not only the relatively sudden break, but also the presence of complicating factors that are deeply disturbing to me and the re-visiting of old, unfinished business. 

So if you like this sort of thing, you've come to the right place. I hope to keep it interesting. If nothing else, you'll get to witness vicariously the fundamental process of someone who has lost everything from the daily, mundane world and is embarking on transformation through descent. Descending to the underworld. Mining all of it. Maybe a journal of that will be useful.