the dark side of the road

The only way out is through, as the saying goes. But times arrive when there is no way through, either, which means there is no way out. Pema Chödrön calls it "getting squeezed." 

I'm sure we find a way to reframe this absolute stuckness in suffering, discomfort, unrequited longing, doubt, rage, terror as "just a phase," or a "stage in the process." These perspectives might become true in hindsight. But our essential restlessness and desire to GET OUT of this stuck place is to no avail when we're in it. If you think of the crucifixion of Jesus for example: the most powerful symbol of simply being unavoidably nailed somewhere with no escape. And the way Christian doctrine frames it is at least in part that it is simply necessary. Of course, the religion has to also give it a purpose as well as posit a resurrection. Our own individual stuckness in torment doesn't always come with such benefits. 

The cold as unmoving stone reality during these times is that it's just suffering, plain and simple. There is no hope for an alchemy that would turn it into wisdom, or it's opposite, or otherwise give it some purpose. It just plain sucks. No way through, no way out. 

This is a difficult experience for a lot of people to accept, let alone concerned people who are witnessing it from the outside. "You'll feel better if" (insert some action, thought, hope, wish here). No, in reality, no I will not. Says the one in this stuck place. 

So what is to be done? Nothing. The hardest thing of all. Nothing to be done. Of course, most of us have to keep doing the mundane things that seem to need to be done. This day, the next day, the day after. But specifically about the excruciating and irremediably stuck and unmoving suffering? Nothing to be done. Sitting with it, without looking for a way out or through. 

The darkest side of the road. No road at all.