The 700,000 stages of grief, described in detail

With a title like that, how can you not click? The goal for this blog is to be nothing but enticing clickbait, after all. You'll be amazed at what happens next.

The I Ching continues its theme, with last night's throw offering up hexagram 54, variously translated as Propriety/Making Do, The Marrying Maiden, The Symbol of the Marriage of the Younger Sister, Marriageable Maiden, The Marrying Girl, Subordinate, The Second Wife, Converting Maidenhood, Returning maiden, Making a young girl marry, Marrying a young girl, Marrying a Maiden, Unilateral Action, Impropriety, Improper Advances. 

This hexagram changed into hexagram 11, yet again-- Harmony.  Peace, The Symbol of Successfulness, Prospering, Pervading, Greatness, Tranquility, Prosperity, Conjunction, Major Synthesis, Hieros Gamos, Holy Marriage,

So the oracle is trying to tell me something. Imagine that. 

A lot of grief last night, missing my old life that vanished so quickly. Expressing it to FB friends led to a wide variety of perspectives, as grief always does. Some people immediately go to strategy because my situation is triggering for them. Others are better at holding a space, no matter how small, for it to be what it is. Neither is right or wrong-- it's just how people do. 

Before sleep, I read the perfect Pema Chödrön chapter from When Things Fall Apart, the chapter titled "Hopelessness and Death." 

"If hope and fear are two sides of one coin, so are hopelessness and confidence. If we are willing to give up hope that insecurity and suffering can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path."

"Death and hopelessness provide proper motivation-- proper motivation for living an insightful, compassionate life. But most of the time, warding off death is our biggest motivation. We habitually ward off any sense of problem. We're always trying to deny that it's a natural occurrence that things change, that the sand is slipping through our fingers. Time is passing. It's as natural as the seasons changing and day turning into night. But getting old, getting sick, losing what we love-- we don't see those events as natural occurrences. We want to ward off that sense of death, no matter what."

Which frames yet again why Out of the Cradle Endlessly Rocking is my favorite Whitman. 

Moving from resistance and warding, protection and defense, hope and fear toward acceptance and saying yes, openness and humble vulnerability, hopelessness and confidence- this is the most reliable work. It aligns with the way things actually are. Whether we like it or not. Of course, the trip is a life's work-- it's not a matter of graduating. At the moment, thrown into sorrow and loss against my will, I am in preschool.