Point Doom

Point Dume State Beach, north of Malibu

My visitor and I went to Point Dume yesterday, which, thanks to the pandemic, was comparatively unpopulated, for a Saturday in October. I remember when I moved to Los Angeles the last time, back in 2002, and hearing people talk about "Point Doom," and wondering why it had such a dastardly name. it turns out that the beach was named in honor of someone named Dumetz, but the name on the map was misspelled "Dume," and that was never corrected. 

It was a glorious beach day, the perfect temperature, a great onshore breeze, and lots of happy people everywhere, but all masked and distanced. The visit was low key, social, relaxing and with zero anything weird. She and I are both late September Virgos and we see the world in a ton of similar ways, even with the age difference of 32 years. She got some time to work out some clarity around how and why her relationship ended. It seemed helpful to run things by me and get that outside perspective. For example, she has to have a difficult conversation with the guy who broke up with her via text, because now he wants to get back together, and she definitely is not into it. She was wondering if she should text him and tell him to be sober for the conversation or she won't come over. I get it, but it struck me that a). let him do what he always does and see, b). it wouldn't change that she doesn't want to be with him romantically, and c). if she feels she has to warn him to be sober, isn't that just even more clear info that this thing is not going to work? These are the kinds of clear thoughts that people outside of a situation can be capable of. 

Mostly, for me, it was astonishing to realize that, apart from a new faculty orientation day that was in person on August 5, and the CPR training that I did in September, and brief interactions to get takeout or groceries, I have not socialized with anyone since May. She and I were sitting across from each other talking and I was feeling that it was super awkward. Just doing this normal thing, having a conversation. I felt very out of practice. It is also the case that, even before the pandemic, I had entered full hermit mode. I think the last real social engagement with a friend was when I defended my dissertation and one of my most long term brother-friends made the trip out and we hung out. February 29. But, even before that, hardly any social time for so long. The PhD process enforced a ton of solitude. Being in a long distance romance enforced solitude. Being myself enforced solitude. For months. 

The visitor with her meme mask

The interesting thing about the visit, also, was that it reminded me to carve out the time to get out into the great places that are not very far from where I live, and that, oddly, the pandemic is the perfect time to do so. Since California is relatively sane and everyone is masking up, for the most part, and traffic is lighter than it otherwise would be, it makes for good timing. Even so, traffic was very slow coming back down the PCH, after we took a short drive up into Ventura County for me to revisit some beaches I used to go to with my dog back in 2002/2003. But it's not an unpleasant slow down along the ocean.

Toward the end of the afternoon at Point Dume, a dense fog bank rolled in. I love the Pacific fogs. This morning it was thick as "pea soup," as the saying goes. Probably a sign of the weather turning toward winter.